So things didn't really go according to plan this year. 

While I can just keep on ranting this whole blog post, I'd rather look forward to what will come. 

With that in mind, I made a digital vision board, just like when I was younger, cutting up magazines and sticking them behind my bedroom door. 

Here are the things I am envisioning for my 2021

• My Own Office

If the lockdown taught me anything, it’s that I need a tangible or at least a very obvious divide between work and play. Otherwise, it gets all mixed up and I crash. My office has a clear space that I can work in, organised storage area, corkboard and calendar, and a filming setup that I don’t have to remove every now and then.

• My 1st 100k 

I have been wanting this for so long and I really believe 2021 is the year for it. This is the year that I will finally see my bank accounts have 6 figures in it. I even edited my Gcash and bank account screenshots so I can visualize it better

• New camera

Specifically, a Canon G7X or Fujifilm XT100. I know, such a stereotypical choice for cameras, but these brands really speak to me, and I think the more specific I am about my vision, the more likely I can achieve it.

• Monthly Giveaways 

One of the things I do with my vision boards is that I throw in things that can be easily achieved. For example, giveaways are something that I can easily do. So, definitely look forward to that! 

• Consistent Blog Posts

This is something that I have always struggled with, simply because I feel like everything needs to be in the perfect place before I start working. However, I saw this video a couple weeks ago and it just made sense. I implemented it in my social media strategy, and voila, I am now prepared for at least a couple months. Sometimes the most simple solutions are the hardest to see. 

• Promotion (because why not?)

This may be a HUGE "suntok sa buwan" -- a Filipino idiom meaning nearly impossible --  but 2021 is my year to flourish so I'm throwing that in there. I'm not shying away from any opportunities to grow this year. 

• A House 

I'll be 25 next year, and I feel like this is the right time for us to be thinking about our future and settling down. While this is not an immediate need, I definitely look forward to achieving it within the year. 

• Side Hustle

I've honestly started working on this and I am getting good results, but I do what to amp it up by 2021. Passive income is the best income, as they say. 

• Start-up Business

Another one of my big dreams and I guess it won't hurt to start attracting it into my life? 

• Better events, collabs, output, and feed

If there is anything that I can take away from 2020, is that professional relationships matter. No matter how good the deal or the payout is... if you don't feel appreciated or valued, take a step back and reassess the situation. Stepping away from an "awesome" collaboration is better than being treated like you and your skills are disposable. 

• Professional Photoshoot

I just think I need a little bit more professionalism in what I do. Well taken photos do wonders, as pictures can say a thousand words. No matter how much others say that "I can do it myself", I still prefer expert guidance. 

• Steady Vlog and Video Schedule

This has worked for me in the past and I'd really like to bring it back. So, on the vision board it goes! 

• Money Matters: Investments, 52-Week Money Challenge, Streamlined Affiliates, Youtube Partner Program

Already started on these, and so far the only thing that's giving me results is streamlining affiliates. It's hard work and definitely brand new territory, but I'm very motivated to learn more. 

• More time for arts and music

I find that I am in a much better mood when I have a creative outlet, so I'm going to have as many as I can. 

• More TRAVEL 

Last but not the least, I want to be able to finally travel. I want to experience other cities and explore new horizons. I'd probably start very cliche and very tourist-y, but hey, it'll be a start! 

And that's it for my 2021 Vision Board! I made mine on Canva using stock photos and I tried to make it as "scrapbook-y" as I can like how I do it with cutouts. I think I made it pretty good right? Not too shabby? 

How about you? Do you have visionboards too? 

So, for those who didn't know, I have hypothyroidism -- meaning my thyroid gland doesn't work.. at all. So, to function as a normal human being, I take maintenance meds,  levothyroxine sodium, which is a synthetic hormone. Have been taking it for about a decade now. Yes, it makes me feel old lol. 

About two years ago, I decided (conveniently neglected) I didn't need to need it anymore, I felt fine, I'm okay without it. Three months later I get alopecia. Turns out my body NEEDS thyroid hormones to function. So, got back on track, never missed a day since. 

Now, I have been out of it for about two weeks. The first few days were okay, maybe a bit tired, a bit lonely, you know, manageable stuff. A week in, I missed Livestream schedules because I have been crying nonstop because all of a sudden I felt like I didn't matter. Because no one cares about what I have to say. Because I gained weight. Because there was this one mole on my arm that looked too light. By day 14 (today) my mind is so noisy I can't even focus on doing what I need to do. So many what-ifs are running through my mind. So many plans. So many worries. And. I. Can't. Make. It. Stop. 

Because I can't find my meds anywhere. It can't be bought at a local pharmacy. The ones usually buy from no longer has it in stock. I have been denied by online pharmacies because they say my prescription is expired because I haven't been able to go to a checkup to get an updated one. Can't pasabuy because... Prescription! I don't wanna waste someone's time just so they can be denied. 

Ang hirap maging productive kung sarili mong utak against sayo. Sarili mong katawan hinahatak ka pababa. I know I always say na "Mindset Matters" pero minsan talaga parang di na kaya. Yung parang may riot sa utak mo sa dami ng nag aagawang idea pero wala kang mapakinggan ni isa. Para kang nagpapatahimik ng classroom na sobrang gulo at walang may balak makinig sayo. Yung gusto mo na lang umalis pero di mo magawa kasi ghorl pano ka aalis sa sarili mong utak lol. Kahit sa tulog at panaginip susundan ka ng gulo sa utak mo. 

Yung nilalamon ako ng inggit kasi alam kong may mas maibibigay ako pero iba yung pinipili. Pero alam ko na sa sipag at output ako natatalo. Kasi bakit ako hihingi ng sobra kung kulang binibigay ko diba? Utak na nga lang ako meron ako, pulilyado pa. 

Tldr, napakaswerte ko po sa genetic lottery opo. :D 

Congrats sa nagbasa nito alam kong wala ka din naintindihan hahaha 

I know it hurts right now.

I know that pain. 

And I want to let you know that it's okay. Let it out. Cry. 

But afterwards, I want you to stand up, wipe away the tears, and smile.

You are more than what your demons tell you. 

You are more than enough, you are worthy, and I am so damn proud of you for fighting back and facing them head-on. 

Come with me, let me remind you of what you have accomplished this past ten years and why I want you to stay. 

Please stay, because you have so much to offer the world. Your creativity and passion and ideas are trailblazers. Take pride in your courage, walking the road less traveled. 

Find peace in your heart that not everyone in your life needs to stay, not everyone needs to be with you every second of every day. Find solace in the chance to explore the world on your own, to love yourself more, and learn how to comfort yourself. 

You've come a long way, and there's so much farther to go. 

Vanessa Mallorca or "Mommy Van" is a mommy blogger who focuses on motherhood, marriage, and lifestyle. She has a loving community of nearly 450,000 mothers on her Facebook page, Mommy Van, and about 10,000 in her Facebook group, Mommy Van Mommy Community. 

She started blogging in 2018. Since then, she has been sharing her breastfeeding journey and helping fellow breastfeeding moms discover what's best for them and their babies. This can be proven by almost 600 reviews of 5 stars on her page, all who are giving thanks that Mommy Van helped them be more comfortable with breastfeeding and motherhood. 

She started with posting about facts and FAQs about breastfeeding in 2018 and branched out to other mommy topics in 2019. She started her blog, Mommy Van PH, the same year as well. 

Reading her blogs and posts, I feel like I am just talking to a friend. Her writing is personable and can be understood easily. She is also able to blend facts and her own experiences seamlessly. You can depend on her to provide you with knowledge based on science and how she was able to use that information for her own family. New mothers (and fathers!) are sure to feel at ease while reading her posts as it will make you feel that you are not alone and there will always be someone who's ready to help you out. 

 Personally, here are my top favorite blog posts of hers. 

1. “Kahit Hindi Mayaman Basta Totoong Nagmamahal” (True love is better than riches)

2. Ano ang Maitutulong mo Bilang Asawa sa Panahong Nakakaranas ng Depresyon ang Iyong Kabiyak? (How can you help your spouse who is going through depression?)

3. Ang Daming Nag-iba Nang Maging Nanay Ako (The changes that come with motherhood)

These posts helped me reflect on becoming a better partner and prepare me for what I can expect should I start planning my own family. Motherhood and starting a family is hard, but having someone like Mommy Van is comforting in my opinion.

Aside from browsing her page and blog, I reached out to her via Facebook and she willingly obliged to a mini-interview via chat, where I got to know her on a more personal level. She is indeed as friendly and down-to-earth as her community says. While I was a bit nervous to chat with her, she completely made me feel at ease and answered my questions gamely. To conclude the chat, I asked her a handful of fast talk questions social distancing style. 

I am always on the lookout for new information about the things that I like, such as blogging. So, when I saw this live stream replay on Writing Hacks Academy page, I watched it.. thrice. There was so much to absorb from the featured blogger, Kathy Kenny Ngo, that it took me a couple of times to truly understand the topic, and this post is my takeaway from that live stream. 

1. It is not for everyone. 

Even at the most basic level, we are social beings. We have the innate urge to share our stories and to talk about things we love. Especially now with social media, sharing is as easy as clicking a button, typing down what you currently feel, or even just chatting with a random stranger. Blogging is all about sharing, anyone can sign up using numerous blogging sites and start posting away. 

However, in order to become a successful blogger, the blogger must post something that readers will be interested in. Aside from page hits, the blogger must also be adept in being able to rank on Google search, be comfortable in using SEO, navigating brand and PR opportunities, and most importantly, staying relevant. 

These are all things that can take a lot of patience and time, even love for the craft. Not everyone has that, and if you do, congratulations, you are nearly halfway there. 

2. There will always be an audience for your topic. 

If there is one thing that I learned while being in this industry, it's that even the most obscure niche will have an audience. Do not limit yourself to the popular topics, or force yourself to write about things that don't really match what you want to write about. Whatever your topic is, go ahead and create something beautiful from it. 

Similarly, do not shy away from the popular topics, should those interest you. Remember, you are unique, and there is no one else like you. Your thoughts and opinion can benefit someone else. What you have to say might be what someone else needs to hear. The blogging world is never too crowded for another blogger, especially for those who are passionate for it. 

A word of advice, do make sure that your topic is well presented and honest. Make sure to review your grammar, sentence construction and always be welcome to feedback, good or bad. 

3. People will see you, and they will see your mistakes too. 

Making mistakes is not a bad thing, so long as you learn from them. Use them as your guide on improving yourself and your blog. 

Personally, I prefer keeping my not-so-okay posts, as they are a testament to how far I've come and what I have learned since then. I would rather have everything (my achievements and failures) in public than have someone reveal them for me. I value transparency very much. I want those who read my posts to be able to see my progress and growth, whether it be from page hits or post flow. It reminds me that I can always get better, refine myself, and develop further. 

4. A stagnant rock gathers moss.  

The worst enemy of a successful blogger is being complacent. There is nothing wrong with being satisfied with your work, but believing that you don't have anything else to improve is not only annoying but dangerous. 

When I started blogging a decade ago, it was all about being personal and most blogs were text-heavy, informal, and very homey. When I got back from my hiatus a couple years back, most blogs were all about lists of the most well-dressed celebrity or morning routines or top Youtube channels to subscribe to with a lot of extra fillers on the margins and homemade layouts. Nowadays, blogs are better streamlined, with well-placed photos and optimized buttons or plugins. A far cry from the yesteryears. Also, almost everyone, businessmen, companies, even celebrities, have a blog now, multiple blogs even, unlike before where only those who had a lot of free time had blogs. 

5. Do not overthink, start now.

I have to admit, the blogging world may look saturated, but like I've said earlier, there will always be a place for another blogger. Whether you are going into this with a goal to be the top blogger ever or just testing the waters, go and start blogging.

You can always learn to do SEO or craft the perfect infographic to go with your post. You can optimize your posts even after a year, add photos or relevant links. 

Go and sign up for a blog right now, write your first post, introduce yourself to the world. There will never be the right time to do so than today.