Showing posts with label Life 2018. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Life 2018. Show all posts


So I decided to make a blog series about my experience with Alopecia Areata, starting with out with my hair's current state and some progress pictures.

I will also be sharing with you my trichoscopy photos and how my medication is affecting me. I'm hoping to make this a daily post, but will most likely be an every other day thing. I still want to post about different things and I have a couple of posts that I am pretty excited to post about.

So, let's get started.


As mentioned in my previous post, I was diagnosed with Alopecia Areata on the 9th of January, 2017 by my father's cousin, Dr. Felix Paolo Lizarondo. If you need a friendly, understanding and knowledgeable dermatologist based here in the Philippines, I highly recommend him!



Just a heads up, some people may be a bit grossed out by the next pictures, which are my trichoscopy photos.

Trichoscopy is a hair and scalp evaluation technique which helps in distinguishing conditions like Alopecia Areata and and Telogen Effluvium in my case. These are usually 10-fold or 70-fold magnifications but I think mine is just 10-fold.

The red flags of alopecia areata are visibly noticeable on my scalp, such as the exclamation mark hairs, coudability hairs and broken ends or what I used to call regrowth. I included a photo from the internet for comparison.








I also have the yellow dots and black dots, indicative of hyperkeratotic plugs and destroyed hair follicles.



Hyperkeratotic plugs are an indication of a presence of an abnormal quantity of keratin resulting in rough, cone-shaped, elevated papules. The openings are often closed with a white plug of encrusted sebum.



As for the scaling and irritated parts of my scalp, those are mostly after effects of me not washing my hair everyday -- resulting in itchy scalp, dandruff and icky stuff.

Now that we have that laid out, let me show you how my hair currently looks now, fresh out of the shower.

01/10/18

I have Diffuse Alopecia Areata, so rather than having patches of bald spots, I have very noticeable thinning all over.

Here are photos taken in a similar fashion so you can see the progression easily.
       






I have a very active case of DAA , which is why Dr. Lizarondo decided to act fast and prompt my system to hit the brakes. I was prescribed corticosteroids to be taken daily for 2 weeks. I started taking them on the 10th of January 2017 and holy fuck I wish I was warned about the taste. And the after taste. and the after after taste. Heck, even my burps taste like it !! The only thing that was able to "extinguish" the taste was a cup of milk.

I was told to monitor myself for anything out of the ordinary, and girl, I took that to heart. I am now monitoring my weight, mood, temperature and blood pressure.

    01/10/18
    Weight: 53kg
    Mood: Irritable
    Temperature:
    Blood Pressure:120/90

I think I'll monitor my water intake and food intake as well. Just for shits and giggles. I mean, I used to, and I don't know why I stopped. Life, I guess.

I was also prescribed a topical scalp ointment, calcium and Vitamin D supplements and a medicated shampoo. Let me just quote my journal entry for my first impressions regarding these products.

    ...the shampoo, well, it's medicated. What can I do. The smell is not too bad and it doesn't really linger. No irritation so far, except for a teeny sore bump I had on my nape after shower. It's gone now though. The shampoo felt a little weird when I washed it off though, as if my scalp absorbed the bubbles and it's just some viscous liquid that I applied. The cream is.. satisfactory, for the price. Come on. It cost nearly 3k for that tiny bottle! Of course I expected at the very least a cooling sensation, or a nice scent, or something. But no. It was just a semi clear gel that smelled literally invisible and felt like nothing when I applied it. Just a bit greasier.

To end this, I'm just a bit disheartened to know that it's not recommended to use a hair concealer or spray to hide the obvious balding spots yet, as it may interfere and contaminate my scalp and treatment. I mean, it's for vanity purposes, yes, and I know why it's not recommended, but your girl needs a little boost you know? I can't live in hoodies and not going out forever. Which means 2-3 months, since that's how long it takes for hair to actually and noticeably grow back.

Do I have anything else to say?

Hmm. Nope. Don't think so. I guess I can always add it in if needed.

That ends the first Current State of the Crown, meeting adjourned.

Information provided by my doctor, American Academy of Dermatology, Philippine Society of Cutaneous Medicine and National Alopecia Areata Foundation.
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The hardest part is overcoming the fear.

My fear.

My fear of judgment, of other people's opinion, of how they see me.

I am going for my dermatologist appointment later, my grandparents are coming with me. The two people that I have disregarded and taken for granted before are now the two people I can't live without. They are my rocks, my foundations. I'm glad they will be with me later.

My doctor will be a relative of ours, Dr. Paolo Lizarondo. He's my grandmother's nephew. I contacted him and sent him the photos that I have been taking to record what's going on with me. His first guesses were Telogen Effluvium or Diffuse Alopecia Areata. I'm praying that it is Telogen Effluvium, because it means that it's temporary. I would just need to determine my...

Update: I have Diffuse Alopecia Areata.

I was not able to finish this blog post due to time constraints, but let's continue where I left off.

Alopecia areata is an auto-immune disease that affects about 2% of the global population. I just computed this myself, basing on the estimate of the affected global population and the current global population, so please don't quote me on this. But imagine the odds. Out of 7.6 billion people in the world, I get to be part of the estimated 147 million people who get Alopecia areata. Cool.

I'm not complaining. I have already come to terms with my situation and is well over the self-pity zone. What I want to do now is recover and make sure I don't pass this on.

Dr. Lizarondo confirmed that I have Diffuse Alopecia Areata and that it was good that I was able to check with him the soonest possible time. He said that my case was very much active, and right now our goal is prevent any more shedding. I told him that I wanted to just shave it all off, but he convinced me to wait a little while -- two weeks actually -- and see how I react to the medication first.

I was also finally assured what the stubble and painful bumps were. The stubble was breakage, not regrowth, and the bumps were due to not washing my hair as often as I should. I was given gentle shampoos that are safe to use and he reiterated that this is not an external issue.

Due to the advanced state of my hair loss, I was prescribed steroids. 20mg of Methylprednisone to be exact. A corticosteriod, to be exact. Corticosteriods suppress the immune system, which makes sense, as Alopecia Areata is an auto-immune disease.

Long story short, my immune system decided to attack my hair follicles and treat them as enemies. My white blood cells gather round my hair follicles and basically bully them to stop hair growth. This weakens my hair and it falls out.


    Photo from JCI

Now the medication prescribed is to calm and/or suppress my immune system and stop it from attacking more hair follicles, which in turn should lessen hair fall. I also have an topical treatment and supplements.

I have a feeling that it's not just my thyroid that's causing this -- it could have also been the sudden increase of stress levels in most of my life aspects. Or my dysmenorrhea medications. Or genetics.

I have a lot of things to consider right now. I want definitive answers for what's happening. This actually sounds like a losing game because the only predictable thing about this disease is that it's unpredictable.

I'll have to make several doctor's appointments to get to the bottom of this. I want to get as much information as I can to be better understand this issue and how I can move forward.

As for now, I'll take my medications religiously and observe myself for two weeks. I won't try anything  else like I planned

Thank goodness for medical insurance. I don't know how else I'm going to afford all of this.
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I cut my hair again.

This time I took off about three inches. Ends are more uneven than ever, of course, but honestly I give zero fucks at this point. I'm just cutting it little by little so that when I do the big chop in about two months time, it won't matter that much. I plan to get a pixie cut once I have enough regrowth to work with. I hope I get enough regrowth.

I can feel more stubble on my scalp, but at this point I don't know if it's actually regrowth or just broken ends. I really need to schedule a specialist appointment so that I know what I'm working with. I'll deal with that after payday.

My hair is still falling out in clumps. I have not washed my hair in 3 days. I don't know when I'll actually wash my hair again. I'm scared. Terrified. I don't want to comb my hair before I shower and see clumps on the floor, wash my hair and see more hair flowing to the drain and yet more hair shedding when I dry it. So I resort to putting my hair up in a bun, using black and brown eyeshadow to cover the skin peeking through and using hairspray. Lots of hairspray. I know sport a "ballerina" bun everyday. For how long, I don't know.

I keep it in a bun because I am ashamed to see it or feel it. My heart breaks everytime I gather it up into a ponytail and I realize how thin it is. I am scared to let down my hair because I feel like every snag and hair flip I do, I lose more hair strands. Or that other people will notice that my hair volume is not as it used to.

I do not want people to notice my hair anymore. A complete 360 degree turn because I have always loved it when others notice my hair and comment about it. How long it is, how thick it is, how soft and smooth it is. Now I pray to God no one notices how small my hair bun is, or that there are gaps between the hair and bald spots around my temples.

It's frustrating and depressing and.. how I wish this episode would end. Or that I wake up if this a bad dream.

I find myself starting at other people's scalps and hair and noting their hair's volume and density, comparing it with mine.

"Did my hair look as luscious as hers?"

"What that how the back of my hair looked?"

"Was my hair as flowy as hers before.. before all this happened?"

If only I had the courage to shave all my hair off and start from the beginning. I do not. I can only see myself getting a buzz cut or perhaps a pixie cut.

I can even feel my insecurities flowing out everytime I face the mirror and see myself in this ballerina bun. I lather on a bright lipstick and pack on a blinding highlight in hopes of distracting myself from my hair. No such luck.

The reality of my situation still weighs me down. I don't cry anymore, yes, but it has now been replaced with shame. Because I am desperate to see progress, I will consider this a baby step up.

Trust the process, Janessa. Consistency is key and I will get through this.
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nyereso

Wow, what an upgrade!

In case you're not sure, this is my first "legit" blog post here. I do have a few other entries posted, but those are just extras. This, however, is part my January 2018 lineup. I put in a little more effort into my posts now, and I hope you enjoy reading. Let me know in the comments below what your 2018 new year resolutions are if you have them!

Cheers to a prosperous 2018!
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I find solace in writing.

In case that's not yet obvious.

I just started a new journal, nothing special, just an extra notebook I had lying around. I'd say that would last me the whole January, depending on how much I actually write in it. I plan it to be a memoir, a record of my 2018 thoughts and I hope I can push through till the end of the year.

I still have my UA&P Student Planner, I can use it until August 2018. I plan to keep on using it, but I'm not sure how to proceed since I also have my Starbucks 2018 planner. I also have this blog, and my Youtube channel. I guess I'm this intent on making sure I leave something that can prove that I existed on this world, even just for a small period of time.

My journals keep me safe. They are my lifelines, things that have kept me occupied for majority of my life. If only I can still find my old journals, but I'm pretty sure they have been ruined by flashfloods we regularly encounter back home. I remember having at least three journals just for my sophomore year in high school. My diaries helped my grandmother understand what I'm going through and helped me release my anger, frustration and have an ear that can listen to my deepest darkest thoughts.

Why am I even talking about this?

I just finished watching a Buzzfeed video of someone buying a diary online and reading it. It just reminded me of how I used to be so eager to write down all my thoughts and thought processes. I hope I can bring that back.. then maybe someday when I have an actual imprint in the history of the world, it would get printed out and read by others and idk, judged as a 21-year-old who thought it was cool to record my deepest darkest secrets online and offline.

It's a strange dream, yes, and if ever it happens, I seriously hope I'd be dead. I don't know if I can face the judgment of strangers about my thoughts.


And wow, that's a stupid thing to say. Because here I am blogging on a public site. I guess what I mean is that my journals have a different feel than my blog. My blog is somehow censored, I guess. Filtered. Whereas my relationship with my pen and paper is as raw as it goes. There's no sense of time or space, just a hurried scribble of thoughts as I catch them from my troubled mind. I can't seem to properly expound it, but I hope it makes sense. I different side of my comes out when I have a pen and paper in hand.


The true me comes out, I guess. :)
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2018.

Right now I see it as a journal. A blank 365-page journal. It's up to me to fill it up with either good or bad shit. I do not know how it's going to go yet, but I am hopeful. Hopeful that this time it turns out okay. Not perfect, but okay. It sounds mediocre and hopeless, yes, but after years of expecting new years to be grand and wonderful and falling flat on my face, I think it's worth a shot to lower my expectations a bit and just let the year unfold for once. Let destiny and the universe show me what's in store and see where the path leads.

I still have a lot of my dreams and aspirations and plans, but I'd like to make them an outline, and not a step by step procedure. I'm going to do my part for once and see where this year takes me.

So, 2018.. Surprise me.
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