Showing posts with label 2015. Show all posts
Showing posts with label 2015. Show all posts
Today is the day that my blog goes live. :)

I've got two months left from this year and I want to prepare for 2016.

16 has always been my lucky number and I know deep inside myself that it's going to be the best year ever.

I have a lot of plans for myself and my future and I am full of hope that this challenging year will be over. This 2015 has been a bit rough on me, to the point that I reverted back to my "security blanket" habit of biting my nails. This was when I realized that I have to recover myself.

I have done it once, and I can do it again.

This year, I have realized that my family, my past, and my environment have planted all their seeds in me. Some have blossomed, some have grown, some have died. Now, I know that I can control which seeds to nurture, and which ones to let perish.

I am 19. This is my last year of being a teenager, and I have about 5 months left. I think its time to get my shit together.

I have realized that I am responsible for myself.
That I always have to be ready for change.
That I should not put myself and my future in other people's hands.
That only I control my destiny.
That my life is my choice.
That I can go a thousand places

I am Janessa. I have always called myself an individual, and this is my first real step to adulthood.

This is #Before25



Another year has come and gone and we’re now on our way to a new one (duh)

2015 changed me,  made me realize a lot of things and taught me a lot of other things (but that’s another blog post)

So, without further ado, here’s my 2016 resolutions

1.       No more softdrinks

Let’s face it. I carry around a bottle of water like I’m the most disciplined hydrated human but no, the water inside that bottle has been there for the whole day and yes I haven’t even sipped half of it. So, this 2016, let’s try and drink at least 1.5L of water a day. That’s 3 bottles of the cute 500mL bottle you have Nessa.

2.       Save money

Yes, I know you have savings, and yes I know you’re prepared for the future, but why the f*** are living from paycheck to paycheck? That’s a bit of an issue you know, and it’s okay, it’s a brand new year, let’s have a new start. As in, start with at least PhP200 a month. That’s PhP50 a week and yes, yes you can. Invest in a piggy bank.

3.       Invest

Not just money, we just tackled that issue (and you don’t really have that much to risk, be realistic), but invest in yourself. Go on regular derma appointments, have a mani-pedi every two months, buy yourself a good quality blazer.. the list goes on. What you do now to yourself will pay off in the future. And besides, you already look much older than 19 years old, so let your age catch up with looks first. Alright?

4.       Take care of yourself

Let’s be realistic right now. You don’t really have anyone else to depend on. Not your family (it’s about time that they depend on you now), not your boyfriend (heck, he’s still a dependent himself), not your friends (friends, what friends? JK). You’re a legal adult with a stable job and bills to pay. You miss that day of work, you get no cash. So, do yourself a favor, visit your endo regularly, keep your TSH chill, keep your lens grade up to date and make use of the blogilates videos you downloaded (ie, workout). That girl on your phone screen wont be you if you don’t get your *** moving.

5.       Be punctual

Remember the last time you got late? Yeah, the whole got mad and you lost a competition. Always keep that feeling in mind and never ever let yourself be late. You’ve got your routine on point now, and you know how much time you need to get ready. This isn’t high school anymore, that you can pass even though you don’t even attend classes because your family is influential. Actually, you chose this company because it has zero connections with you or your family right? Because you wanna succeed on your own? So start with being punctual. It helps.

6.       Improve yourself

When you were younger, you knew how to play the flute, the piano, the guitar, and you were a lead in the choir. You painted, you sculpted, you made things from scratch. You became the theatre vice president twice, you were in the student council, you were a lady sponsor. You had a lot under your belt and although you kinda had a bit of a breakdown, you pulled through. Now you’re all chill and all these skills you had are slowly rusting. Be the best version of you Nessa, take the good things from your past and keep them with you. Not all of those were bad memories.

7.       Walk to and from work

Oh come on, it’s not a long walk. Too hot? Sunscreen and umbrella. Too tired? It’s less than 15minutes to walk, (less than 10, even, because it doesn’t even register on your Smartrack). And besides, it’s plus steps to your 10k goal. How else are you going to go up to 15k? 20k? stop being so lazy and keep those long legs beautiful.

8.       Stay committed

Not just with your boyfriend, or your family, or your credit history,  but also with your work and hobbies. Stay committed to Telus and grow within them. They took you under their wing and they are offering you multiple opportunities. Go ahead and claim those chances. They only knock once. Stay committed with Youtube and blogging too. Two posts a month is okay for now. This is your #comebackyear right? Don’t slack off again.

9.       Make memories

The past year, you kind of forget how much you loved the camera, how much you enjoyed writing, and how much you loved yourself. People around never noticed, but you did. Still do. You once said that you only take pictures when you’re in a good mood, and judging from the amount of photos you accumulated throughout the year, not much of the year was a “good mood”. So be in a good mood. Document your time because you’ll never ever get those moments back.

10.   Never apologize for how you chose to survive

You are in control, Nessa. If you don’t want to, then don’t.  Feeling like you’re being taken advantage of? Stop. Leave. Ignore. If you’re getting hurt, why stay and keep on getting hurt? Why torture yourself? Why stress if you can have something better? If you don’t save yourself, no one will. 2015 taught you that, remember? Never forget.

Stay positive, Nessa <3



Hi, I’m Nessa, 19 and I want to live a life worth living again.

I am currently working as a call center advocate at Makati, Philippines.

I have yet to finish my degree in Elementary Education.

To start off my blog, here are 25 facts about me;

- I am an only child. But I have two sisters and two brothers.
- I have 3 first names and I like to associate my moods to them. Janessa is the go getter happy-go-lucky and cheerful side of me, Anne is a quiet, anxious, kind and eager to please everyone, and Louise is my bitch side.
- I was a print and ramp model for two years. I went on a hiatus to study and pursue other passions.
- I have been in eight schools in the seventeen years that I have been in school.
- I did my own makeup for my Prom and that started my love for the art.
- My bestfriends have been my bestfriends for more than 13 years.
- I originally wanted to be a film director, but fate led me to being a teacher.
- I am totally cool with same sex relationships, marriages, etc.
- My first language was English.
- I know how to play the guitar, and used to compose my own songs.
- My music taste is very erratic, and can change my mood in a second.
- I was a theatre actress in one of my schools and have performed on stage and have worked behind the scenes, which awakened my love of directing.
- I am a frustrated dancer, but I would love to learn how to dance.
- I’m scared of dogs (not so much now, because I had to overcome that because my cousin was imitating that fear, and to make him stop being scared I have to stop being scared).
- Once I overcame my fear of dogs, I became fearless. Literally.
- I am very very impulsive. Impulsive trips, shopping, etc. The only way to stop me is if I literally stop and wait for at least ten minutes. If I still have the impulse but I feel like it’s kinda unsure about it, I wait another 10 minutes until it goes away.
- I’d rather watch Youtube than TV.
- On the same note, I rely on the internet for news.
- I haven’t had short hair in almost 7 years, but I plan to shave all of my hair off and give it to charity after I graduate.
- My goals are tagged #Before25 because I want to be financially independent by that time.
- I have to constantly drink water throughout the day, or else I get hungry even though I have just eaten.
- My home town is San Miguel Bulacan, home of the best Pastillas ever. Totally unbiased, but nothing can beat Pastillas made in my hometown.
- My ultimate goal is to have Czyphr trademarked.
- I love the crown for some reason, but more or less because I grew with the quote "I am a princess because my Father is the King of Kings.".
- I’d rather spend on books than anything else.

And those are my 25 Facts About Me! :) It's also a bit picture heavy, so that you can get familiar with me more. :)

I will try and post every other day, and then when I finally get my Youtube channel up, this blog and that channel with be intertwined very much.

If you have any questions, requests, or if we have something in similar, please comment below! :)

Nessa ♛

 

It hurts so much, too much.

Why does it feel like that all over again?
Did I make the wrong choice?
Or am I just misunderstanding?

But why do I feel like this?

Sometimes, I think..
What if on my way to Manila tomorrow, maaksidente ako? Would he finally realize all the wasted time?

So many seconds, minutes, hours that he couldn’t have spent time with me, and yet he chooses to spend it well, not with me..

This is such a depressing post for our 366th day together. Yup, we just had our anniversary yesterday. He went here, spent an hour with me and that was it. But that’s okay, because I thought we can spend tomorrow together.. But still no.

So okay.. i guess I’ll just have to go on this alone.

But should I still continue with this relationship? Should I stay? Stay and endure everything? Because of love?

I don’t know..
So far my faith in this relationship has been truly rocked by what has been going on.

What if?

by on November 14, 2015
  It hurts so much, too much. Why does it feel like that all over again? Did I make the wrong choice? Or am I just misunderstanding? But why...

 

I don’t know how to do this. I’m terrified that I’ve reached this point. How am I supposed to live with this amount of cash in my pocket?

If only I didn’t have to give, if only I’ve been out a long time ago I wouldn’t have to do this! Of all your choices I was always involved! In everything you do, damay lagi ako! What did I ever do to you? I thought I had the most wonderful life ever, that I was so prized and taken care of. But now that I’m older, I realized that wasn’t the case, because even my own father wished I wasn’t here.

I wanna get away. I wanna go away. I wish I wasn’t here. I wish from the start I just lived alone, away from you. We are not meant to stay together. You’ve done what you can do for me. You “raised” me till I was legal. I know that’s the end of the line for you. And so go ahead, live your own life and I’ll live mine. This is the last time that you’ll ever knock on my door and I’ll answer.

You made your own choices, and now I make mine. I know I sound so high and mighty and so conceited but that’s just how it is. I will reach all my dreams without you. I will fulfill all my promises without your help.

I will succeed without you, and when the time comes, hu u ka saken!

How?

by on November 08, 2015
  I don’t know how to do this. I’m terrified that I’ve reached this point. How am I supposed to live with this amount of cash in my pocket? ...