Noise Cancellation Earpods are Heavensent | Dear Diary 2022

It is such a jarring feeling to feel alone. 

To feel like I am unable to connect with people when I used to be able to foster connections in an instant. 

It feels so foreign not to be able to do something that I have always been able to do before. 

I mean, is it me? Should I try to force myself onto people? How do I connect with people who do not have the same interests as me? Do I pretend to like the same things they do? Dress like them? Act like them? Am I too snobbish? Do I come off as ignoring them when I only want to focus on my own business?

Everytime I sit on my chilly desk I feel even colder inside. Everyone else seems to have a friend they can do small talk with and go on lunch breaks with. 

I have no one. 

All i have is my phone that I can't even use during business hours. 

I spend all this time looking pretty and smelling nice and I get nothing from it. Not even the satisfaction of feeling nice for myself. I feel... lacking.  

I guess I should just get used to being alone. 

I don't fit in anywhere anyway. 

Not with my family, not with my so-called friends and not even in business. 

Huh.

Well.

Let me get these noise cancelling earphones in and listen to whatever playlist i have made today and be in own little world instead of listening to the murmur of conversations that I'll never be a part of. 

Oh how the mighty has fallen.